[Keeping up wasn't the issue, Kit thought. He simply didn't know what he wanted. Was it a future of his own, carved out with his own two hands, and if so, what did such a thing even look like?
If he was right and that vision was some kind of other self, then he had two ghosts haunting him and no way to safely exorcise either one. And even if there were a way to achieve a seamless separation, what would he do next? Would life in Eddan somehow feel more real, then? Would he go back to his everyday routine of attending school, working at the botanical garden, and 'retrieving' back stolen goods for paying customers? Would nothing change, or would he miraculously be 'cured' of the uncivilized inclinations he sometimes possessed, no longer desiring the thrill that had driven him to tempt fate more times than he could count that night?
Then again, if he succumbed of his own free will to that phantom, it was possible that he wouldn't truly disappear, he would only become something...more than what he was. More whole, maybe.
But without a way to know for certain...]
I can.
[Which wasn't to say that he would. Once more, his answer hinged upon which decision would yield the greatest reward. And, at the moment, even if he couldn't help thinking letting go of the person he was would be the most gratifying, it was still too early to tell.]
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If he was right and that vision was some kind of other self, then he had two ghosts haunting him and no way to safely exorcise either one. And even if there were a way to achieve a seamless separation, what would he do next? Would life in Eddan somehow feel more real, then? Would he go back to his everyday routine of attending school, working at the botanical garden, and 'retrieving' back stolen goods for paying customers? Would nothing change, or would he miraculously be 'cured' of the uncivilized inclinations he sometimes possessed, no longer desiring the thrill that had driven him to tempt fate more times than he could count that night?
Then again, if he succumbed of his own free will to that phantom, it was possible that he wouldn't truly disappear, he would only become something...more than what he was. More whole, maybe.
But without a way to know for certain...]
I can.
[Which wasn't to say that he would. Once more, his answer hinged upon which decision would yield the greatest reward. And, at the moment, even if he couldn't help thinking letting go of the person he was would be the most gratifying, it was still too early to tell.]